Sunday, June 21, 2015

Victor Agbo: My Message To You

Every song, I believe, is for more than just pleasure. Every song must have a source. There must be something, it could be good or bad or evil, but there must be something, an inspiring force that shoots a song out of a composer, and for a particular reason, to achieve a particular purpose. I read some psalms of David today, and I got something.
Do you know what is written in the book of psalm 103: 8 -13 of the Holy Bible? Well, here it is; “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. 9 He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. 10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. 11 For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; 12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him.”

I know David was talking about God, but we were made in God’s likeness and I know God wants us to act like him. So reading these verses, I saw a father that loves his children unconditionally. A father that says, “It does not matter what you’ve done, what you’re doing or how angry you’ve made me. Just come to me, I will continue to forgive you because I love you.” I saw a father that overlooks the many flaws and mistakes of his children. But how many people are privileged to have such a father? And please, do not restrict it to fathers. Mothers and children, both male and female need to learn how to love as well. Imagine a world where everyone loves each other.

Well, it is Father’s day today and many people are celebrating in different ways already. But I’m not writing this for those that are happily celebrating now because they have their father there with them. Neither am I writing for Fathers that have been graced with lovely and well-behaved children of their own. No, I am not, instead I am writing for the have-nots.

Dear father, I understand that that your children are so difficult and strong headed. I understand that you sometimes wish you had no kid. I understand that you’ve tried all you can to make them better people and are now tired and clueless on the next step to take. I understand that sometimes you feel like they are the devil in your life. But dear father, you are still their father. Do not take away your love for them. That love could be the key to reviving your family.

Dear father, Many are married men that have no kid of their own just like you. Don’t spend the day worrying about why God has refused to bless you with your own child. Look around you and you’ll see many kids. These are kids God has trusted into your care. How do you treat them? Do you show them love as if they were the children you so much desire to have or do you maltreat them out of Jealousy? You need to really show love to those around you. Celebrate with them and you will be glad you did.

Dear father, do you distance yourself from your kid(s) or family because you consider yourself a failure? Are you running because you are ashamed of yourself? Do you know they still love you and are waiting for the day you’ll come back to them? When walking and you stumble and fall, do you remain on the floor or do you stand back on your feet? I know you don’t hesitate to stand. But why then have you decided to continue seeing yourself as a failure? Get up, dust yourself off and continue pushing. Reconnect with your family, show them you love them and you’ll be surprised when you realize the role love plays with regards to fueling your motivation.

Dear father, is mummy the problem? Does she go to the extent of poisoning the minds of the children against you? Has the woman you once considered an angel sent from heaven turned out to be the devil in your life? Has she made it better for you to want to stay in a corner at the roof top than in your well furnished apartment? If that is the case, please I beg you, don’t let them change you. Don’t let your anger last too long. Please, continue to show them love. The day is coming and will come, when they will realize their error.

Dear child, did your father run away? Are you home alone with mummy? Are others celebrating and you’re beginning to hate your father for not being there so you could celebrate father’s day with him? Please, channel your attention to the good part of your life. Begin to see the day as a second mother’s day while you wait for father’s return. Refuse to allow rage take over you. Celebrate and be happy with mummy. That way, you’ll be happy when father returns, because you’ll then have to experience what it feels like to celebrate father’s day.

Dear child, does it make you angry when they call you a bastard? Is father the unknown rapist that defiled mummy when she was a teenager? Does it make you burn with rage that you have the Sickle Cell Disease because mummy’s genotype is AS just like that of father who abused her? Do you wish that someday the police will get him just so you might get the chance to strangle him to death yourself? Well, brother, I want you to know that they lie when the say revenge is sweet. After revenge, you won’t feel any different. You will feel worse instead. But love brings lasting joy. Many of those without the disease died before your age. But you still have life in you. Utilize your time well. Don’t spend your time hating, hating and rage will only lead you to earlier death. But love will extend your life. Love everyone, including your rapist father.

Dear mother, why are you so angry about father’s day? Why did you ban father’s day celebration in the house? Is it because your father use to abuse you sexually as a kid until he was caught? Is it because daddy use to beat and treat you like trash before he finally disappeared? Or is it a combination of both. I know how bad you feel, it hurts me too. But your rage does more harm than good, to you and to your kids. You’ve grown to be a strong woman and I know you’re stronger than this rage that is trying to overtake you. Your kids have been unable to learn how to be a good father from their dad, but you can still teach it to them. Your rage shouldn’t push them into the street to learn from street thugs. Don’t hide your tears from them, let them see it and allow them to help you when they want to. Love them and let them love you in return. Let them not reflect their father or grandfather, instead let them reflect their heavenly father by sharing his type of love with them.

The list continues. There are too many combinations of distortion in families. But in all, we should learn to love just as God has loved us. He is our heavenly father who loved us even before we were formed. Even in our wrongdoings he remains merciful because of his love towards us. So go ahead and share the love, keep the fire of love burning in your heart and together we will make this world a better place for you and me.

Victor Agbo is a Computer Scientist, singer, model, actor and writer. He has been a regular contributor on AustiNaija.

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